Years
by sweetsheart
Summary: The sheer notion of losing her hurt Stein deeply, but when notions become reality, the pain is nearly unbearable. The pain would indeed have been unbearable if not for the strength of her memory.


It had been so many years.

The light streamed through the small window in his bedroom, and as he regained lucidity, the pain in his joints returned became evident once more.

And now, he once again had to make the decision – whether or not to get out of bed.

This was a question he had asked himself so many times since the incident. And, yet, every morning, he could not remember the answer that got him out from beneath the covers the night before. Some days, he resolved himself to staying in bed. Visitors were rare anyway.

His former students had moved on to bigger and better things than their reclusive, old former mentor. They had jobs, families and friends – they didn't need him.

So, his internal mental dilemma continued, and he turned in the bed to lay on his chest. Over twenty years of battering his body had taken meant that movement was hard now. Nobody ever witnesses the decline of the hyped meisters and weapons of Shinigami-sama's academy.

A select few declined gracefully to a tenured position at the Death Weapon Meister Academy. Some, like him, had their bodies decline so far that they simply could not do their duties anymore. Some were mentally and emotionally scarred from the happenings that they witnessed.

Others were not this lucky.

Like her.

Even the memory hurt him. That memory was one that not even his borderline-sociopathic mind could block out.

He turned his head to his opposite bedside table and stared at what graced it.

Amongst other things, there was a stack of post-it notes with perky, happy messages scrawled across them in big, curly handwriting that you could tell was written with a smile on face and in mind. There was a small, slightly tarnished badge that read _weapon_ and a small pot plant that no self-respecting mad scientist would bring into his laboratory of his own accord.

But the most telling possession on that bedside table was the eyepatch.

Her eyepatch.

It was not the one she had worn on that fateful day – no, that was far too painful. It was one that had been left in her drawer when he returned home, bloodied, battered and completely shaken.

_Five people walked into the laboratory that night. Four were crying unabashedly, but Stein was not. Could not was probably a more apt description. But the others… _

_Spirit, whose eyes were filled with tears, had to hold up Azusa, who could barely function due to the overwhelming grief. Sid and Naigus followed, Sid's hand firmly clamped on Stein's shoulder as his weapon fought the tears._

_Spirit sat down and let Azusa bury his face into her side, wrapping his arms around her tightly and letting tears fall onto her ebony hair._

"_Stein, I'm… I can't even… I'm so sorry, Franken. So sorry." Naigus managed._

"_Why? I'm not the one who died." _

_That comment took everyone back for a second. But they all slowly realised that this was Stein dealing with grief. Spirit, as his former weapon, noticed this first, and went back to comforting Azusa._

"_O-Of course." Naigus managed before another wave of grief hit. She collapsed onto one of the purple couches, and her grief only intensified when she realised who would have bought them._

_They had lost a weapon. A fellow Deathscythe. A colleague. A teacher. A friend._

_Spirit's phone buzzed in his pocket and her gently removed one arm from around Azusa to look at it._

"_Oh, fuck." Spirit murmured, tearily. He stood up and walked to the corner of the laboratory, trying to hide the sheer sadness in his voice as he answered the phone._

"_Maka, what is it?" Spirit asked._

"_Papa… what's wrong?" Maka automatically noticed her father's discomfort and he broke down. He leant his head against the wall of the laboratory and the tears fell again._

"_Maka, sit down, sweetheart." he sobbed. Maka's voice shivered but she seemed to follow her father's instruction._

"_Papa, what's happened?" Maka's voice quivered, and she didn't even know the news yet._

"_Maka, there was an accident. Maka… it's Marie-sensei."_

"…_No… No, Papa, no…"_

"_She's… She's gone, Maka. I…"_

"_Papa… no!" Maka broke down into tears, and this only furthered Spirit's grief._

"_Maka, I'm coming over. I… Stay safe." Sprit hung up the phone and walked back over to the group, snivelling and rubbing at his reddened eyes._

"_Yumi, come with me. I'm not letting you stay alone." Spirit said. The barely functioning woman nodded tearily and stood up, leaning on Spirit once more._

"_Stein… man…" Spirit, completely out of fashion, hugged Stein and didn't care if he hugged back or not. So, when he felt a hand press his back and a chin fall to his shoulder in defeat, he felt a myriad of emotions. But mostly, he knew that Stein was in mourning, and he had no idea what it would lead to. After some time, Spirit broke away._

"_Look, I know we haen't been that close. But you need anything… anything, Stein. I'm here." Spirit stated. His year over Stein had never been more evident._

"_Thank you." Stein gave a small, neutral nod, and Spirit reluctantly turned from his meister and went for the door. But the woman attached to him stopped them. She took a sharp breath in and turned around – nobody had ever seen her as vulnerable as this. _

_She walked towards Stein and grasped his arms as her legs nearly buckled. Azusa looked up at Stein through tear-streaked eyes and cleared her throat._

"_For all I said about you… you made her so happy. Know that." Azusa managed before turning back to Spirit, who linked his arm with hers as they left the laboratory. Not long after, with some coaxing, Sid and Naigus left. Stein just needed to be alone. He needed to readjust to it._

_He made a listless walk over to the kitchen. She was the one who spent the most time in there. He turned mindlessly to the fridge and opened it, and his eyes automatically fixated on one slice of lemon cheesecake. _

_He replayed her words in his head._

"_I'll finish it when we get back from the mission."_

_Stein slammed the door shut and ran to the bathroom, dropping to his knees and arching his back upwards as he emptied his stomach into the toilet bowl with a sickening retch. He reached his hand up and flushed the toilet. _

_Everything hurt. His face hurt. His heart hurt. His legs hurt. His lungs hurt – everything hurt. There was no number of bolt cranks that could fix this feeling._

_Stein clutched at his face as he fell to the cold tiled floor. He couldn't move – he didn't want to move. He hoped that today would be the day that his body succumbed to years of self-experimentation._

_It wasn't worth living without her._

Stein had no idea how he got past that day. He didn't know how he got past her funeral. He didn't know how he got past seeing another Oceanian Deathscythe being appointed. He didn't know how he got past the new specialist weapon E.A.T class teacher with a penchant for wavelengths being appointed. Stein wasn't sure how he'd overcome the past five years.

Somehow he did.

And at that moment, Stein remembered his reason to wake up that day.

* * *

"She hated Spring." Azusa remarked, sitting across from Spirit, Sid, Naigus and Stein in her apartment. They all nodded in agreement.

"It always shocked everyone to hear her say that. But she got terrible hayfever." Stein recalled.

"I remember part of Kami's pregnancy was in the Spring, and Marie went along with her clothes shopping just sneezing and sniffling… lovely and stubborn, Marie was." Spirit said, smiling. Everyone gave a tiny laugh and nodded. Stein sighed and looked down.

"What is it?" Naigus asked.

"Nothing, just… she always wanted to be a wife, a mother. Especially after Kami." Stein said.

"Well, you know, Stein, she was like a mother to all of her students. It's not the same, no, but it still brought her joy." Sid replied.

"I suppose… but that still didn't make her a wife." Stein stated.

"Come on, Stein. Pretty sure some common law came in with you two." Spirit remarked.

"Excuse me?" Stein asked.

"You two were basically married. Just without the sex… it was without the sex, right?" Azusa asked, and the glint in her glasses did not go unnoticed. Stein brought a glass of water to his lips and replied.

"For the most part."

"… _For the most part?_" Azusa's voice grew in volume and Stein put his glass down.

"You didn't know?" Stein asked.

"You thought we knew?" Azusa asked.

"I knew." Spirit spoke up. Azusa shot him a glare before looking at Sid and Naigus, who both absentmindedly nodded.

"She never told me! None of _you_ ever told me!" Azusa exclaimed. The room fell silent for a second, but Azusa's rising tension caused everyone to break out into laughter, even Stein.

"I honestly didn't think she could keep a secret."Azusa said, through laughter.

"There's an awful lot you don't know, Azusa." Spirit smirked.

"Yeah, yeah." Azusa waved his comment off. It fell silent once more, and Stein gave a heaving sigh.

"I miss Marie." Stein said, quietly.

"So do I, man." Spirit replied. Azusa raised her cup of coffee forwards.

"To Marie." Azusa said. Everyone replied in unison.

"_To Marie._"

As the toast concluded, Spirit looked around and stood up.

"Do you want to go and visit her?" Spirit asked. Everyone looked at Spirit and all were slightly reserved. However, after a second, Stein stood up.

"Yes." he replied.

* * *

After entering Shinigami-sama's office and getting of the large platform down to the dusty ground below, they began walking around, searching for Marie's marker in the ground.

Stein took a deep breath as he looked down at a grave. Before he even read the name, he knew it was Marie's. A small plate signified it was a Deathscythe's soul below. And something tweaked in his soul, something soothing. Even in death, she still helped him.

"Guys…" Stein's voice called out, and everyone gathered around him and looked down at the small name plate.

"There are fresh flowers… I didn't think people visited these soul graves often." Spirit said.

"Me neither." Sid added. They all stood at the grave for a minute, silently, before Azusa spoke up.

"Can't believe you didn't tell me you _slept_ with him." she said, feigning derision. Everyone gave a tiny smile and a laugh. After a little while longer, everyone began to leave. Stein and Spirit hung back, and Spirit looked at Stein.

"You coming?" Spirit asked. Stein nodded.

"Just give me a second." Stein said. Spirit nodded and walked away, leaving Stein alone at the grave. He knelt down to the nameplate and ran his finger over the embossed letters.

"I'll see you tomorrow, my Marie."

There was one thing that got Franken Stein out of bed every morning. And that was Marie Mjolnir. Stein was sound in the mind that every day he would wake up after remembering what he was to do.

Every day, Stein would leave the laboratory and go to the academy, past all the classrooms to Shinigami-sama's office. He would make some small talk and he would make sure that Marie's soul was safe on the _other side. _He would then get down from the platform and go directly to Marie's grave – he knew the location by heart. Sometimes he would go with flowers, sometime just to talk.

He visited her every day, and that was what kept him going.

Even after so many years.


End file.
